Mission Giggler
by ShockedByVampire
Summary: Edward and Bella walks home from school and...tadaa! They find a baby! My first fanfic. R&R, please.
1. Chapter 1

So this is my first fanfic. R&R, please! I tried to make it funny... Mission impossible.

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Me and Edward walked home from school hand in hand (my truck was in inspection and Emmett scratshed Edward's Volvo (you should have seen his face) and a lamp broke. So, it was in repair. And I didn't want a piggybag ride).

Out off the blue, we saw a baby in front of us, watching me and Edward with big, blue eyes. It giggled. It was kind of cute.

"What's that?" Edward asked, with pure amazement. I glared at him.

"A baby. What's it doing out here?" I leaned to tickle it. By the blue clothes, I was nearly sure that it was a boy. The boy giggled some more.

"Hello, little fellow," I murmured to him, "do you know where your mummy is?"

Edward sighed behind me.

"It's a baby, Bella, it can't talk. His parents will find it. Let's leave it right here where we found it and go."

Suddenly, the baby wasn't laughing anymore. It looked at Edward, with a most serious look what a baby can make. Then it started crying with the most terrible noise. Like it could understand what we were saying.

Edward's hands were clapped over his ears. Then he glanced at my pleading face. "We can't leave it here," I told him with normal voice. He could hear it over the baby's whining.

He thought it for a moment. "All right, all right, just make it stop! That_ Thing_ irritates my nerves."

I smiled and took the baby off the ground. It stopped crying. The baby giggled loudly. Edward sighed with relief.

"Look at him! He's so cute!" I babbled.

Edward sighed with frustration. "Very."

I was afraid that I drop the baby. Even thinking of it gave me shivers.

"Edward, can you please hold it? I'm so clumsy and everything…" I offered him the baby. He took it, hesitantly. The baby stared him with his big baby eyes. Then it started to giggle again and clap his hands together. Edward's eyes widened.

"You know, I don't like this at all," Edward mumbled to me. Was there a hint of horror in his soft voice?

"Yes you will, or I'll call him Edward Junior," I snapped at him.

Edward gulped.

Ha! Victory!

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Finally, we were inside the house. I went straight ahead to the kitchen to find something to eat. The baby must be starving.

"Umm, where I can put this _Thing_ down?" I heard Edward's puzzled voice from the living room. I glanced quickly at him. Edward held the baby in the air, in front of him. Giggling continued. Edward was so lost.

"Put Giggler down on the couch," I told him, "and watch that he won't fall."

"Giggler? Can't you do better than that? Giggler? How about The Thing?" He said 'The Thing' with really spooky voice. He put Giggler down.

I frowned at him. "Well, how about that Edward Junior?"

He gulped again. "Giggler is a good name."

"Thank you."

I searched all the corners of the kitchen but…no food for babies. Nothing.

I peeked from the corner of the kitchen at Edward, who was playing with the little fellow. Giggler took Edward's finger and put it in his little mouth.

"No, no, you can't put it in there," he laughed. Then he noticed me. He smiled like he was caught up on something. "Do you need some help?"

I grinned an evil grin at him. "Yes."

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Okay, this was quite short chapter, sorry!


	2. Chapter 2

This was unbelievable! Bella ordered me to go to the Thriftway, to buy some stuff for Giggler. But what? She didn't even know that. And I didn't also. Who will be my saviour? I thought that for a while. Then I made a U-turn. There was only one person I could trust to.

"Oh, Esme?" I whispered carefully as I opened the door quietly. I didn't want an audience.

"Mom?"

"I'm in the kitchen, Edward."

I quickly walked in to the kitchen. Esme was cleaning the dust from the kitchen table. We never use it, so it came quite dusty sometimes.

She glanced at me. _He looks really nervous._

Well, I was nervous. Terribly nervous.

"Honey, is something bothering you?"

I went straight to the point. "What do babies need to…err, survive?"

She continued cleaning. She smiled. I saw in her mind her own baby who passed away long ago. Before Esme herself was a vampire. And she remembered it so clearly. Holding the just day old baby in her arms, murmuring to him 'I love you' over and over again. (**A/N I wasn't sure was it he or she, but I put the baby as a boy. Tell me if I'm wrong**!)

I stood there in silence, allowing Esme to remember her memories.

"Well, babies need… baby food, you know, they haven't got any teeth, so, they eat food, which is glopped." She said after the long silence.

"Go on," I encouraged her.

"Diapers, baby bottles, pacifiers, milk…" she continued. I thought that was enough.

"Thank you, Mom," I quickly murmured to her. I turned away, to by those things… and get out before she starts asking.

_Edward Cullen, stop._

I sighed hopelessly and turned around again. Please don't ask, please don't ask, please, please, please…

"Why do you need that kind of information?" Esme asked curiously.

Damn it.

I couldn't lie to her.

"Well, me and Bella found a baby next to driveway…I we couldn't leave it there. Actually, Bella insisted that we take it with us. Bella came attached to it in a second…"

"Of course, Bella is however a woman," Esme pointed out. "And that's what you men can't understand, don't even try to."

"Right…" I said slowly. "Anyway, we took Giggler to Bella. And Bella told me to go shopping." I put my hands to fists and pouted. I hate shopping.

"Did somebody mention _shopping?_" I heard a chirpy voice behind my back. Alice.

Please, shoot me.

"No, nobody said anything about shopping," I growled.

"Edward, behave," Esme commanded, putting her hands crossed.

"Edward, was that you? Did _you _say _shopping_?" Alice walked through the kitchen next to Esme.

I didn't say a word. This was completely idiotic.

Esme mercilessly told Alice everything what I told her.

"Women," I sighed myself.

"Aww, that's so cute!" Alice screamed after Esme told the whole story. Alice giggled with enthusiasm. "I'm aunt Alice!"

"And I'm a grandmother!" Esme shouted too.

And I'm willing to bang my head against the wall.

"What's going on? Esme? Alice?" Carlisle's peaceful voice came from the living room. He was home. I was saved.

"Oh, honey, you never guess what I am!" Esme was too hilarious. It scared me a little.

"Er, my wife?" Carlisle guessed when he came through the kitchen's door. He walked next to Esme and kissed her quickly.

"No!"

"My sweetheart?"

"No!"

"My little muggle wuggle poopsy doo?

Esme was frustrated. "No, Carlisle! A Grandmother!"

I rolled my eyes. Carlisle will immediately understand this. He is quite clever, after all.

_What on earth…? She can't be Granny…if…_Carlisle thought.

He turned around to see my face. I was frustrated, annoyed and irritated. He looked at me very surprised and confused.

"Edward, have you done _something _with Bella?" _I can't believe this…A vampire+ A human Babies? Is that possible?_

I think I looked terrified. "No, of course not!"

"Then what is this all about?" Carlisle insisted throwing his hand in the air. Then he relaxed and put his hand on my shoulder. "I know, it might be a little difficult to say it out loud, but I can help Bella and you, too. As a doctor and a father. Did you use a condom, Edward?" He asked professionally.

I looked at him, shocked. Alice and Esme snickered behind Carlisle.

"No! I didn't—"

"Well, that's all right, the accident is already happened and we can't do nothing about it. You have to always remember, that I will be always there for you and we all love you. And next time, try to remember that condom. I think that one child is enough. Of course, if you want more babies with Bella…that's possible. But I believe you should buy a bigger house. And Emmett would be a wonderful nanny, if you need any…" He babbled on.

"Carlisle," I said slowly, "I_ DIDN'T_ have…_that_ with her."

He looked at me for a long time. I stared at him, seriously.

"Oh," he finally said, relieved. "I thought… Then why is Esme calling herself a granmother?"

I told the story again. How did we find the baby…blaa blaa blaa.

Carlisle was serious after the story, watching the floor.

"I'm sorry girls," he said quietly to Alice and Esme, "but I think that Bella should tell her father about this. As a police, he can announce that we have a missing baby. Maybe the baby's parents are looking for him.

I nodded. And the girls nodded too, though, they were pouting.

"But as long as Bella and Edward are baby's fakeparents, I am aunt Alice!" Alice announced again with enthusiasm. He moods change very fast.

"And we are grandparents!" Esme said, wrapping her arms around Carlisle's neck.

"We are?" Carlisle asked carefully.

"Of course!" Esme playfully scowled Carlisle.

"Umm…yes, of course we are!" Carlisle said with a put-on smile.

_Sorry son, I can't say no to her._

I tried to smile. "Thank you for you all. I'll go and get some stuff for that baby."

"I'll come with you!" Alice shouted with enthusiasm, again.

"No, you're not." I growled it too late. She was already gone. My parents chuckled. They wished me good luck.

I rushed to get out.

"No sex until marriage!" Esme shouted after me.


End file.
